I missed last weeks Totally Awkward Tuesday due to a total lack of preparation rather than lack of content. Anyone who has kids can appreciate this one...
To this day my BFF and I will tell this story as if it happened yesterday. We have the kind of friendship that goes back to when we were both wearing footie pajamas (literally), pinkie swears were a blood oath and if you saw one of us the other was 6 steps behind.
At Easter my BFF's mom would make jello eggs. This was long before Jello got on the band wagon and made those snazzy plastic egg carton molds. She used actual egg shells.
Her mom sat us at the kitchen table, we were probably 10 or so, and showed us how to prick each end of the egg with a pin and then blow through one end so that the insides (the gooey egg part) would come out. We were surprisingly good at this considering we were 10 and there was about 6 dozen eggs. Once we were done she would fill the shells with boiling water to sterilize them, draining them again, and then fill them with the liquid jello mixture. Once the jello hardened you could peel the shell off just like a hard boiled egg. It was totally cool. Hey, I was ten, gimme a break.
Now, I'm not too sure how the thought process progressed for my BFF's mom but she decided in her infinite wisdom to leave us to our task and go have coffee with the lady 3 doors down the street.
Uh-huh...you can see that this was probably not the greatest idea but it was a different time back then and we didn't have a reputation for being complete terrors. Yet.
The egg draining commenced in good-girl fashion until one of us (I still can't remember who) dropped an egg on the floor.
Have you ever tried to pick up a raw egg from linoleum? Not so easy. We tried napkins, we tried spoons, but the two spatulas held together end to end was the most promising. Until we dropped it again. We were aiming for the sink but no such luck.
At this point we've managed to pick up the shell and the yolk. The white part was somewhat of a large smear. Then one of us had the bright idea that we should just spread it around. Yup, just spread it around the floor. I should point out that these were the days of no wax floors. (Anyone remember Mop-N-Glo?)
So, with napkins in hand we spread the remaining egg from one end of the kitchen to the other. We assess our handy work as only a 10 year old can, pronounce it satisfactory, and sit back down at the kitchen table to finish with the other eggs.
Not 2 minutes go by when Mrs. Next-Door-Neighbor sticks her head in the kitchen door looking for Mrs. BFF. We tell her that she's down at Mrs. Three-Doors-Down-Neighbor having coffee and should be back soon. Mrs. Next-Door-Neighbor pauses while looking at the kitchen floor (thank gawd egg dries quickly) and says to BFF, 'Dear, what does your mother use to clean the floor?' (We totally thought we were busted.)
We shrug and plead ignorance. Prompting her to add, 'I'll just have go down and ask her because I can not find anything that makes my floor shine like this.' (Oh crap!)
To this day we still don't know if she knew about the egg.