Does anyone out there have a special gift? A talent that may not necessarily be unique to you but happens so often in the universe that is your life that people begin to associate it as part of your being?
I do. Or I should say that the Kid and I do.
Our special gift, wait for it, is the attraction of really annoying families.
If any of you have been sucked into the gravitational pull that is the Kid and my hemisphere and we gave you dirty looks and silently hoped you would evaporate where you stand. Sorry, we can be moody. But let's be honest, you probably deserved that dirty look.
But, that being said it doesn't matter whether we are at the movies, on a plane, or in a restaurant. Inevitably, there will be a family within 15 feet of us with either the worst manners possible or the rudest children you could ever encounter.
My son once spent a three hour plane ride sitting in front of a kid in a carseat who kicked the back of his seat and screamed the entire time because the parents wouldn't unstrap him. I've traveled with my son since he was four. There was never a need to restrain him like he was a circus animal on a plane. Personally, I think it was a battle of wills between the father and the child. But do you really need to do that in public - for three hours!?
Some of you may ask why we didn't switch seats. The parents were sitting behind me arguing the whole time about whether or not they should let the kid out and honestly the language they were using was worse than the seat kicking.
Normally we joke to each other when we leave the house as to the length of time it will take us to encounter 'The Annoying Family That Follows Us Everywhere' but Saturday night was an all time record.
The Kid and I went to see the new Transformers movie. In true teenage fashion I thought...It was totally awesome! The movie theater nearest to us has stadium like seating so that no one is blocking your view. In my opinion this is sheer design genius. No one's head is in my way and for that I am eternally grateful.
Well, no one's head was in my way but there where annoying families on three sides.
Family #1: They were sitting in front of us with a parent on each end, kids in the middle. I am inclined to cut them some slack seeing as their four kids ranged in age from approximately 5-8. There may have been friends or a set of twins I'm not certain. They, the adults, spent the entire movie walking hunched over back and forth in the isle while whispering, opening snacks, getting drinks, telling kids it was not time to leave, etc.
Family #2: They sat to our left. They TALKED through the entire movie. And I don't mean in a whisper. The people behind them told them repeatedly to SHUT UP.
Family #3 (my personal fav): They were sitting behind us. When we walked into our isle all three of the teenage kids in this family had their feet draped over the seats in front of them and gave no indication they had any intention of moving them. Their father had to tell them to get their feet off the seats and actually had to reiterate to them to keep them on the floor.
Basically, get your freaking sneakers out of my hair jacka$$, this isn't your living room!
The couple sitting to our right (there was one empty seat between us) looked outraged when the kid behind the empty seat put his feet back up. She swung around so fast and shot cold shards of broken glass out of her eyes at him that the father actually yelled and the mother slapped the kid.
So it was an all time high on the 'Annoying Family Meter' but we had fun none the less.
And people wonder why we stay home so much.