Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Shiny Red Button Part II - Holding Down the Button

Catch up on the beginning of our story: The Shiny Red Button Part I

While our hero, otherwise known as The Kid, was riding the wave of his latest victory, The Headphone Triumph, he neglected the fact that women are vindictive. He is only 13 after all. All of life's lessons haven't quite sunk in.

When the Kid went up to the front of the classroom to collect his much sought after headphones, the science teacher noticed his pants.

I should take a moment here to tell you that when we bought his uniform pants back in August, they fit. The Kid has since grown 5 inches and lost 15 pounds. Needless to say no amount of belt will keep a size 34 waist from sliding down when you now need a size 31. They are not ridiculously low, tucking in his shirt helps to keep them up but he's using the absolute last hole on his belt and they still slide down. I also refuse to buy him all new pants for the last three months of school. He'll just out grow them before school starts next year.

Science Teacher: Kid - Go out in the hall and pull up your pants.

Kid: Fine. (goes out in hall - pulls up pants - walks back into classroom - pants slide down from walking)

Science Teacher: Kid - Go out in the hall and pull up your pants.

Kid goes out in the hall, crosses his arms and stands there because he knew she'd be out. She comes out and tells him that if he can't do it himself she'll have someone show him how.

At this point in his story I stop him and ask exactly how is she going to do that because if she laid one finger on you she's going to have a serious problem. He laughs and says that she made him go into his History Teachers room, he's a man, and demand that he show the Kid how to properly pull up his pants. She then leaves the room.

History Teacher (looking at the Kid): blinks

The Kid: blinks back

History Teacher: She can't be serious.

The Kid: You know she hates me right?

History Teacher: Your pants look fine.

The Kid: Tell her that.

History Teacher: You should probably try to stay on her good side today.

The Kid: Does she have one? So, how exactly am I supposed to pull these up?

History Teacher: (blinks - sighs) We're done here.

The Kid: I thought so. See you after lunch.

History Teacher: The good side. On. Her. Good. Side.

The Kid: See you after lunch.

Perhaps this week she can bitch about his shirt not being blue enough?


LiLu said...


This is fantastic. And also made me not miss grade school at all. ;-)

PinkPatentMaryJanes said...

Took me straight back to school - eep! I thought the power-playing days were over, but apparently not.

Christa Terry said...

Oy, I cannot stand it when a teacher chooses a kid to pick on!

Jo said...

I'd have to take his pants and hang them on the antenna of her car.

I don't know. Something. ANYTHING. What a biznatch.

Just stopping by to thank you for coming to visit me on my SITS day last Friday. :)

Wishing you and the 'kid' all the best.

Peace and serenity,
'The End Of The Rainbow: Life After Bankruptcy'
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