The Hall Pass Incident

As some of you may know, The Kid started high school last week. As with most things in his teenage life he took it in stride.

The first couple of days were uneventful but Friday yielded...the Hall Pass.

The Kid: Guess what my science teacher uses as a hall pass.

Me: I don't know. A Hello Kitty Doll? (Yes, I really guessed that.)

The Kid: No. Guess again.

Me: Just tell me.

The Kid: A TOILET SEAT! Bahahahahaha

Me: Seriously?!

The Kid: Yeah. It's a knew one. I think it's hilarious.

Me: Have you asked to go to the bathroom yet?

The Kid: Duh! Of course. (Said in a tone to suggest I obviously didn't know him at all.)

Me: Is the bathroom at least close to the room?

The Kid: Yeah. But you know what the best part was?

Me: (I'm almost afraid to ask.) What?

The Kid: I came back to class wearing it around my neck! Bahahahaha.

Awesome. I can not wait to meet the science teacher at open house.

Random Kid Convo of the Week - The One Where I Show My Age

In the van on the way to school this morning:

Me: Are you going to review for your summer reading test?

The Kid: I'm going to go through the Spark Notes this weekend. The test is Monday.

Me: Wouldn't it be better to review the actual book? You don't even have the Spark Notes.

The Kid: Do you know what Spark Notes are?

Me: Yeah, they're like Cliff Notes. But you don't have the Spark Notes book so how are you going to review it?

The Kid: (looking at me like I'm an idiot) Spark Notes. It's a web. site. On thhheeee coommmpuutterrr.

Smart ass.

Freshies

Today was the first day of High School for The Kid.

New school.

New uniform.

New teachers.

Same morning and afternoon routine.

6am...

The Kid: (in a muffled sleepy voice) I haven't seen 6am in 2 and a half months.

Me: Lucky you...keep the shower to 15 minutes.

The Kid: (muffle, snuffle somekind of snorting noise)

This afternoon in the van after I'd picked him up...

Me: How was it? Did you get lost?

The Kid: Fine. No. I've got a new schedule.

Me: How could you have lost it already? We made, like, 10 copies.

The Kid: I didn't LOSE it. I got a NEW one.

Me: Why?

The Kid: I'm now in Honors Writing and Honors History.

Me: (squee!) How did that happen?

The Kid: I have NO idea.

Bingo, Scavenger Hunts and Binoculars

This is the second installment to keeping my sanity while road tripping with the kids. The first installment can be found here.

I found a fabulous website called MomsMinivan.com.

She has printable games such as

Roadside Bingo,

Vehicle Bingo, and

Scavenger Hunts

(Her website forbids the posting of the actual pictures on other websites or I would have pics here.)
Make sure to print all of the cards. If you click the 'printable' link above you'll be able to see all of the pages for each games. The Roadside and Vehicle Bingo are four player games. For the scavenger hunt I printed both versions just to have a little variety.

I also have a list of all 50 states for the license plate game and a list of over 50 different types for automobiles.

If you're going to try to encourage the completion of the scavenger hunts try having them work on more than one at a time. I've found that if they're only looking for one type of thing they tend to get frustrated when they can't find it. But if they see a license plate for Kentucky, then an Acura as well as a sign for a Hospital along the side of the highway it makes the games' progress that much more fun.

This is where the props comes in.

One of the easiest and often overlooked items to pack for each child is a set of magnets and cookie sheet. You want one that is Aluminized Steel so that the magnets will stick.

The tray portion of the cookie sheet is great for holding paper and colored pencils for drawing, the small pieces of the Bionicle or Lego sets and if you flip it over you can attach the Bingo sheets to it.

You'll need enough magnets for each of them to play bingo and one strip to hold the paper on the cookie sheet. I bought two rolls of magnetic strips at AC Moore for .59 each and I made my own magnets, saving a blank 3 inch strip for each child.

Another fun prop is a small pair of binoculars.

These come is handy for the scavenger hunts. If one child is looking for things and the other two are checking things off it keeps everyone engaged for a little while. I've also found that if you set a time limit for who gets to 'look' and who gets to 'check off', say 5 minutes, it keeps the arguing to a minimum and everyone gets a turn to find stuff.

My last post of helpfulness will be Card Games and Prizes...stay tuned.

Preparation Equals Happiness. That and I Want 5 Minutes of Peace

I'd have to say that the focal point of any road trip with your kids is keeping them from killing each other and from driving you to the brink of insanity before you've even left the driveway.

As promised from yesterday's post I'm going to share with you some of the items I've put together for my 'Kid Entertainment Package'. I always pack the obvious things:

Portable DVD player: Each kid will be able to pick something brand new as well as a selection from the home library. We'll also be bringing the laptop so there can be two movies going at once. Somehow I don't think the boys will be at all interested in anything remotely like the Princess Diaries.

Brand new, not to be used until we get in the car, EXACT SAME headphones for each kid. This eliminates the arguing and the 'I can't find mine' the day before we leave.

iPods

DS Game Systems

Construction paper, pencils, and colored pencils (crayons can melt).

Now for some other stuff:

I found this Disney Activity Book at Barnes and Noble on clearance, the Twistable colored pencils at Target, the Vibez click-pencils at Stop & Shop and if you squint you can see the three erasers in the top right hand corner. They were more for a laugh than function and the choice of erasers was an inside family joke but they are fun none-the-less.

This pad has easy and challenging lists for each page, that way it's good for the younger and older kids.

Cards.

Never underestimate the allure of a new pack of cards. The Littlest Kid has a recent fascination with cards so those are for him. The other pack, Would You Rather...? is a fun game that asks crazy questions and you have to choose between the options given. Our kids love to yap so combining their love of talking with something gross is right up their alley.

'Would you rather eat a hair pizza or a toe nail taco?'

You get the idea.

Fact or Crap: You also shouldn't underestimate the allure of saying forbidden words. Crap is not a word that is used often at home so when the opportunity presents itself to say something not usually allowed that increases the fun factor by 100.

This is a team game that has 5 trivia questions for each team. Each team has to say whether the trivia is a Fact or complete Crap. There are points for every question the team gets right.

I foresee the Littlest Kid saying crap 600 times before we get to Virginia.

Scratch and Solve Hangman - this book is cool. The pages are similar to lottery scratch tickets, allowing someone to play alone or with someone.

Keeping little hands busy can also keep them quiet while they concentrate. I found the below Bionicle at Target. It's not quite as easy as the regular Legos so it should probably take the Littlest Kid about 30 minutes to assemble.

The Cube puzzle is neat. Each of those pieces fits together to form a perfect cube.

Rush Hour: some of you may know this game from the electronic version. In a nut shell you arrange the cars on the board according to the card you pick, you then have to move the cars around the board in order to get the red car out of the slot. It's not as easy as it sounds. In order to save space I'll pack the board, cars and cards in a ziplock bag and leave the box at home.

Tomorrow will be Bingo, Scavenger Hunts and how Binoculars can come in handy.

iWork Therefore iNeed a Vacation

The Family Vacation is coming up in October. Officially it begins in 45 days, 21 hours and 8 minutes.

I have the Disney countdown widget on my computer at work and the kids installed it on the laptop at home lest we not know exactly when liftoff will be.

When the BF and I travel our biggest worries are will the car service get us to the airport in plenty of time and did I remember to unscrew my Cape Cod bracelet so as not to set off the metal detectors at the security check.

(Side note to anyone that wears a Cape Cod Screwball bracelet, you know they're a b*&^% to get off but they set off the metal detectors. The TSA agent told me that I didn't need to take it completely off, just unscrew it and leave it on and it would be fine. No beeping. Great tip.)

But when we travel with the kids there's waaaayyyy more planning. Especially since this Disney Vacay involves a mini road trip to Virginia to get on the Auto Train.

There are driving directions, in car and on train entertainment packs, train tickets, park tickets, condo reservations, dinner reservation numbers and oh so much more to keep organized.

Enter, iWork.

When I bought my MAC last year I bought the MAC software package iWork to go with it. One of the templates in the Numbers program is for travel. This thing is awesome! I've just started putting all of our info into it and I can tell already that this thing is going to be a god-send.

Currently I have all of our trip stuff in a plastic folder that I will bring will us but it's nice to have everything organized into one electronic file so I can make sure we don't forget anything.

I've also spent most of the summer scouring the Internet, craft stores, Target, and the discount isle in the grocery store looking for anything that will entertain 3 kids in a minivan for 8-10 hours and subsequently 17 hours on a train.

Granted some of the train trip will be spent sleeping but as of our last family conversation involving our vacation, the train portion was by far the most thrilling. Thus, I imagine they will not drift off to sleep at 9pm and wake up rested and ready to go. Rather, they'll be hard pressed to stay in their seats when they're positively shaking with excitement at the mere thought of exploring the train.

The older kids have already dug through the 'Keep the Kids Entertained' package and given it their seal of approval but it will be mostly a surprise for the Littlest Kid. There are some things they can do individually and others they can do together. I figure by having it be a surprise for the Littlest Kid he'll be engrossed in the activities a smidgen longer.

Tomorrow I'll share my bag of tricks with all of you and give you some links to the websites where I found some great road trip games.

(Jen on the Edge already offered a great tip about giving your kids their own cooler of snacks in the back of the minivan so you don't have to constantly dole out treats, they can just help themselves. I'm already on this idea.)

If anyone has any suggestions feel free to chime in because this was our last road trip convo:

The Chica: How long is the trip to Virginia?

Me: From our door to VA is roughly 8 hours.

Her: That's not too bad.

Me: Well consider this. That would be 8 hours with the car constantly moving. That doesn't include breaks for....

Traffic...

I gotta pee...

I'm hungry...

If I don't get out of the car right now I'm going to throw myself out the window.

Those could quite possibly add about 2 hours or more to our trip.

Her: Can I look in that bag of games again?

Random Kid Convo of the Week

The Kid has been away at camp for most of the past two weeks, but last night he came home and was taking the bus there for the last day.

As we're waiting in the car this morning:

Me: Why don't you put the cream cheese on your bagel while we wait for the bus?

The Kid: I can't. It'll be uneven.

Me: What?

The Kid: If I put it on now and press the two halves together so the cream cheese doesn't stick to the bag, when I pull it apart later there will be more on one side than the other.

Me: (blinks) um, so.

The Kid: You know I apply my cream cheese with surgical precision thus making both sides equal.

Me: OCD much?

The Kid: I prefer to think of myself as unique.

Me: Yeah, me too.

It's Genetic

My Random Kid Convo's of the Week are by far the most popular segments on my blog.

(You can sample a few here, here, and oh yeah this one was a favorite too.)

After spending a few hours at my brother's house Saturday afternoon I've come to the conclusion that our family awesomeness has spread to my nephews and niece.

Meet my nephew's, Ant (5), Dom (3) and my niece Gee (2).

They had been waiting for what seemed like 'aaaallll daaaayyyy', or so they told me, for the ice cream truck, it finally arrived about 10 minutes after I got to the house. Amidst the shrieking and pointing the ice cream boy managed to decipher that they want 1 Sponge Bob pop, 1 Batman pop and 1 Shrek pop. All guaranteed to turn any child's face blue, green or yellow depending on the pop you pick.

Back in the yard they've managed to turn blue, green and yellow while making a huge mess of eating their pops.

Whatever that's what kiddie pools are for.

Since it's about 100 degrees me, my brother and my SIL are sitting on the patio and this is the conversation going on between the kids:

Ant (his face is green from the nose down): I've got Shrek.

Dom (his face is blue from the nose down): I like the gum eyes.

Gee (her whole body is yellow): Bob.

Ant: I'm done. I feel full.

Dom: Not done.

Ant: I think I need to take a dump.

Dom (laughing hysterically): Take a dump. Take a dump.

Gee (clapping her hands, laughing and spraying Sponge Bob ice cream everywhere): DUMP! DUMP! DUMP! DUMP!

My brother is horrified and I'm practically doubled over laughing.

In my opinion it's obviously genetic.

And if you need further evidence of how cool we are just check this out.

Random Kid Convo of the Week

Last weekends beach trip took two cars. The BF was generous enough to ride with the Kid and his friend and I got the dog.

On the trip back from the beach we pulled into the local gas station slash Dunkin Donuts and I see the boys jump out of the truck money in hand.

The BF is waiting for them in the truck so we can get on our way once they've gotten their drinks/snacks. Teenage boys after all. All they think about is food and girls.

So as the Kid is walking back to the truck my 'mom-sensor' goes off and I gesture for him to come over to the van. His friend had the good sense to just get in the truck.

Me: What did you buy?

The Kid: Monster/Rock Star/Energy drink thing.

Me: You know that stuff is loaded with CRRAAPPP!

The Kid: Look it says sugar free! (points at the label)

Me: Give me that can. Look at the ingredients. CAFFEINE is like the third one on the list! This stuff is going to make you crazy.

The Kid: Sugar free! No Carbs!

Me: Ugh! Go. Get in the truck and try to not have a spastic seizure after you've drank that.

The Kid: What? No kiss?

He is such a smart ass.

Reason 473 on Why I Don't Have Cable

Commercials.

Or more accurately put, the ability of the advertising industry to convince me that I need something. I mean, that's their job right? Well, in my case they're doing a fab job.

Let me explain.

While at the beach this weekend, there is 24/7 cable tv and I'll admit I turned it on a couple of times. Sunday morning while I was laying in bed trying to turn the coffee maker on with my mind I grabbed the tv remote and flipped on the tv.

I didn't even need to change the channel. There's an infomercial on about some type of Redi Set Go counter top cooking thingy. I'm immediately sucked in. This thing is fantastic, it makes all kinds of stuff, pizza, steak, cake in minutes.

I know, cake! That did it for me too.

It's irrelevant that you would need six of these things to cook dinner for a family of 4 in the 7 minutes they claim most recipes take, but the needy side of my brain is telling me that I must, must, MUST have one of these things.

Cut to the commercial break where Maybelline is telling me that I can have super long eyelashes with their new Falsies Mascara. Even the packaging is screaming my name, it's hot pink with metallic teal lettering, of course I must buy some of this when I get home.

By now I can smell the coffee in the kitchen, unfortunately I haven't mastered the coffee mind-trick yet, the BF had it covered that morning, and it snaps me out of my commercial hypnosis and none to soon too because I was on the edge of grabbing my cell phone and ordering one of those counter cooking thingies.

I did however, hunt down that mascara at Target on my lunch break yesterday.

Think of the damage I could do if I was allowed regular access to tv. Space bags, steam mops, plastic containers on a swivel, OxyClean, Core Rhythms, Your Baby Can Read. I don't even have a baby but it looks cool.

And this my friends is why we don't have cable, we say it's because of the kids but it's not.

It's me.