The Mom will be played by Me.
The Dad will be played by the Ex.
and
The Dumb Kid will be played by none other than The Kid.
Yesterday, my phone rings.
The Dad: Have you heard from the Boy?
Me: No. He should be at the orthodontist. I texted him this morning and reminded him about the time.
The Dad: I just called there and he's not there and he's not answering his phone.
Me: I'll kill him if he missed that appointment.
The Dad: I'm going home to check on him.
Me: Fine. Call me when you get there.
In the mean time I call the Kid. No answer. I text him, twice, no response. Now the rational person in me is saying that he is at the ortho's office, in the chair, and he can't answer the phone. The mother in me is freaking out and imagining that he's been run over by a car and bleeding on the side of the road somewhere in the 500 yards he had to walk to get to the ortho's office. *insert breathing into a paper bag here*
Phone rings
The Dad: He wasn't at home, I'm at the dentist now, he's here. He said he'd been here the whole time.
My phone chirps with a text...I'm at the orthodontist! Geez.
Me: Did you ask him why he didn't answer?!
Dumb Kid: What? My phone was off.
Mom: *face palm*
Dad: *throws hands into the air*
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Monday, July 11, 2011
The Final Countdown
Hold on...I have to wipe something sticky off of the monitor. I can always tell when the boys have been eating and using my laptop. Not that the finger prints on the track pad aren't evidence enough.
Anywho, according to the kids vacation counter we have 3 days, 18 hours and 0 minutes until our vacation officially begins, so Hooray!
On the down side...we have 3 days, 18 hours and 0 minutes until our vacation begins.
This is the mad dash portion of our week, this does not include all of the 'work' work I have to get done. This past weekend the Chica and I got our nails done, bought socks for the Littlest Kid, and packed 90% of our luggage whilst making a list of all of the little things we'll have to pack at the last minute. Ya know, like the electric toothbrush.
The BF and I also vacuumed the entire house, cleaned the bathroom, changed all of the sheets, and did, I swear, 14 loads of laundry including towels.
I also discovered that The Kid has become somewhat of a shoe-whore as he packed more foot wear than I did.
I'm so proud.
I'd better get moving, in the time it took me to post this I'm down to: 3 days, 17 hours, 39 minutes
Anywho, according to the kids vacation counter we have 3 days, 18 hours and 0 minutes until our vacation officially begins, so Hooray!
On the down side...we have 3 days, 18 hours and 0 minutes until our vacation begins.
This is the mad dash portion of our week, this does not include all of the 'work' work I have to get done. This past weekend the Chica and I got our nails done, bought socks for the Littlest Kid, and packed 90% of our luggage whilst making a list of all of the little things we'll have to pack at the last minute. Ya know, like the electric toothbrush.
The BF and I also vacuumed the entire house, cleaned the bathroom, changed all of the sheets, and did, I swear, 14 loads of laundry including towels.
I also discovered that The Kid has become somewhat of a shoe-whore as he packed more foot wear than I did.
I'm so proud.
I'd better get moving, in the time it took me to post this I'm down to: 3 days, 17 hours, 39 minutes
Friday, July 8, 2011
4am
4 am.
Anyone out there a morning person? Anyone?
I am not.
The BF will tell you that the peak portion of my day is between 9:30am - 7:30pm. Anything outside of that time period and you take your chances.
Although I start work at 8am, I don't want to speak to anybody until after 9am. It doesn't always work out, but that's an ideal morning for me. I'm slightly more together after 7pm than I am before 9am but it's a crap shoot.
Irregardless, I've been seeing a lot of 4am lately. I chalk it up to stress. I'd say 75% work stress, our move is turning my hair white, and 25% vacation stress, we leave Friday (next Friday) and we're not entirely packed.
Wednesday morning I was out of bed at that OMG hour of 4:15am, I had made coffee and was emptying the dishwasher before the BF even got out of bed. He thought I was delusional. In all the years we've been together I've never gotten up before him.
Come next Friday, when we leave for the airport, I have been forbidden to even think about the office.
But on a side note...
4am...
I want to break up.
Anyone out there a morning person? Anyone?
I am not.
The BF will tell you that the peak portion of my day is between 9:30am - 7:30pm. Anything outside of that time period and you take your chances.
Although I start work at 8am, I don't want to speak to anybody until after 9am. It doesn't always work out, but that's an ideal morning for me. I'm slightly more together after 7pm than I am before 9am but it's a crap shoot.
Irregardless, I've been seeing a lot of 4am lately. I chalk it up to stress. I'd say 75% work stress, our move is turning my hair white, and 25% vacation stress, we leave Friday (next Friday) and we're not entirely packed.
Wednesday morning I was out of bed at that OMG hour of 4:15am, I had made coffee and was emptying the dishwasher before the BF even got out of bed. He thought I was delusional. In all the years we've been together I've never gotten up before him.
Come next Friday, when we leave for the airport, I have been forbidden to even think about the office.
But on a side note...
4am...
I want to break up.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Vacation Packing, Suitcases, Pass the Advil
I'm going to spare all of you the on going stress that I have at work with our move, Verizon I'm looking straight at you, and instead share a little epiphany I had the other day regarding packing.
Suitcase packing.
Our last family vacation we drove part way and took a train the next so I didn't have to be religious about how much our bags/suitcases weighed or what was in them. Liquids, people. Let's keep it clean, ok? But this time we'll be flying and we want to carry on most of our stuff.
As the Chica and I were discussing what to pack for our two weeks away; we'll have a washer and dryer so we don't have to go too crazy, it occurred to me that we don't have to pack a bag for each person.
We can sort everything by item so they will fit better.
The Kid's sneakers are a size 9, try fitting a pair of those in with all of his other stuff. I have. It's not easy.
Meaning, I've decided to put shoes in one bag, toiletries in another and clothes in the last 3. I don't know why after 30+ years of travel it has taken me this long to figures this out. We're going to check the bag with the toiletries in it and carry on the rest.
Tonight I'm going to go through my bag of road trip games, etc. and figure out what we can bring on the plane.
Does anyone have any other suitcase packing tips that I can use? I don't think I can wait another 30 years to have that crucial 'Ah-Ha!' Travel-Moment.
Suitcase packing.
Our last family vacation we drove part way and took a train the next so I didn't have to be religious about how much our bags/suitcases weighed or what was in them. Liquids, people. Let's keep it clean, ok? But this time we'll be flying and we want to carry on most of our stuff.
As the Chica and I were discussing what to pack for our two weeks away; we'll have a washer and dryer so we don't have to go too crazy, it occurred to me that we don't have to pack a bag for each person.
We can sort everything by item so they will fit better.
The Kid's sneakers are a size 9, try fitting a pair of those in with all of his other stuff. I have. It's not easy.
Meaning, I've decided to put shoes in one bag, toiletries in another and clothes in the last 3. I don't know why after 30+ years of travel it has taken me this long to figures this out. We're going to check the bag with the toiletries in it and carry on the rest.
Tonight I'm going to go through my bag of road trip games, etc. and figure out what we can bring on the plane.
Does anyone have any other suitcase packing tips that I can use? I don't think I can wait another 30 years to have that crucial 'Ah-Ha!' Travel-Moment.
Friday, July 1, 2011
@Twitter #annoyinghabits
I *heart* Twitter. More so than Facebook, My Space (so retro) and any other 'Let's be Friends' network.
I do not have a Smart Phone or an iPrecious so when I choose to have your tweets sent to my phone it's because I want to know what you are up to. I follow plenty of people, but only a small fraction of those do I have sent to my phone, and only with them do I feel that I can chirp back with a comment. My regular chit chatters...you know who you are...I hang on your every tweet. :)
But with that being said, for everyone else, I have a few annoyances I have to get out there. If you follow me, the absolute first thing that I do, is check your stream. If I see any of the offenses below chances are good that I'm not going to follow you. Ever.
Enough with the quotes
If I'm going to follow you, there's something about YOU that interests me. I do not want to read a never ending barrage of literary quotes. I'm fairly well read, I don't need Twitter spewing Emerson at me.
No follow.
Links upon links
I like to know when you've put up a new post on your blog or if you've read something on the interweb that is so OMG! that you have to share, BUT if your entire stream is nothing but links? Forget it. I'm not following you. All you are telling me is that you have nothing original to say.
No follow.
And lastly...
/#@%&*(
If you have so many bullshit notations combined with links and hash tags that I can't figure out what you're saying? I immediately tune out. All I see is a bunch of crap and it looks like you're swearing at me. Although your links and tags and whatnot display your advanced knowledge of Twitter and that should be commendable all it really does for me is make you look like the person at the party that can't shut up.
Absolutely No follow.
So now that I've alienated 2/3rds of Twitter, check these folks out. They save my sanity most days:
@jenontheedge
@jskells314
@sano2pop
@vodkamom
@massholemommy
@OHmommy
@TechnicalParent
I do not have a Smart Phone or an iPrecious so when I choose to have your tweets sent to my phone it's because I want to know what you are up to. I follow plenty of people, but only a small fraction of those do I have sent to my phone, and only with them do I feel that I can chirp back with a comment. My regular chit chatters...you know who you are...I hang on your every tweet. :)
But with that being said, for everyone else, I have a few annoyances I have to get out there. If you follow me, the absolute first thing that I do, is check your stream. If I see any of the offenses below chances are good that I'm not going to follow you. Ever.
Enough with the quotes
If I'm going to follow you, there's something about YOU that interests me. I do not want to read a never ending barrage of literary quotes. I'm fairly well read, I don't need Twitter spewing Emerson at me.
No follow.
Links upon links
I like to know when you've put up a new post on your blog or if you've read something on the interweb that is so OMG! that you have to share, BUT if your entire stream is nothing but links? Forget it. I'm not following you. All you are telling me is that you have nothing original to say.
No follow.
And lastly...
/#@%&*(
If you have so many bullshit notations combined with links and hash tags that I can't figure out what you're saying? I immediately tune out. All I see is a bunch of crap and it looks like you're swearing at me. Although your links and tags and whatnot display your advanced knowledge of Twitter and that should be commendable all it really does for me is make you look like the person at the party that can't shut up.
Absolutely No follow.
So now that I've alienated 2/3rds of Twitter, check these folks out. They save my sanity most days:
@jenontheedge
@jskells314
@sano2pop
@vodkamom
@massholemommy
@OHmommy
@TechnicalParent
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