Why teenagers shouldn't do reviews

***Disclaimer - These are our own opinions. Arm & Hammer in no way compensated us for our thoughts.***

One of the sponsors for Bloggy Boot Camp Boston was Arm & Hammer, more specifically, the oral care division.  Among other things, we were given three different kinds of Arm & Hammer toothpaste and a teeth whitener in our "You are an Awesome Conference Attendee Bag".

Since toothpaste is something I usually have on hand in the linen closet, I put the three boxes on the shelf next to our trusty Colgate Total and forgot about them.

Until this week when we ran out of Colgate.

Cue Arm & Hammer Toothpaste - Enamel Strengthening.  I didn't even look at what the other two were, I just grabbed which ever box was closest to the edge of the shelf.

Personally, I love this stuff.  It gives you the 'I want to lick my teeth' feeling. 

The Kid...not so much.

This morning as we're walking out the front door for school...

Kid: I HATE that toothpaste!

Me: Why? I like it. It's minty and scrubby.

Kid: It tastes like baking soda.

Me: It's made by Arm & Hammer, I would think that's a given.

Kid: I do not care that they make baking soda. Their toothpaste shouldn't TASTE like baking soda.

Me: So you're saying you want Colgate.

Kid: Yes. I don't like change. Or baking soda.

Sigh.

Well Arm & Hammer, as much as I love your tooth paste and think it has the potential to make my teeth sparkly, I love not having to nag my kid to brush his teeth more. So I guess it's back to Colgate Total for us.

And this is why companies don't ask teenagers for feed back. 

They can't help but be honest.

Back to School

Recently, the blog realm and Twitter has been all a buzz with SAHM chatter regarding back to school.  There are alternate choruses of hoorays and sobs.  Hoorays for those of you that have run out of fun activities and sobs because the little tad poles are starting school for the first time.

Believe me I get it.  I've been there. Although it was 10 years ago.

But when you reach the teenage years there will be no hoorays and there will be no sobs.  Personally, I love summer vacation.  I don't have to nag about homework or pry his butt out of bed at 6am.  I don't have to taxi him to and from school and after-school activities.  I love being able to tell him I'm on my way to work, I'll call him in a few hours; to not eat junk food all day, there's lunch in the fridge and to call me if he's going to go play basketball with his friends.

You'd like to think that when they reach the high school years that you don't have to check, check, check to make sure they have everything.  Kindergarten moms - take note: Everything you do now...

Will. Last. Until. They. Are. Out. Of. School.

My school-morning litany:

Do you have your homework?

Do you have your glasses?

Do you have your ID?

Do you have your phone?

Things I've thankfully been able to stop saying:

Pull up your pants. Use a belt.

Button your shirt collar over your tie.

I dread the start of school with the six thousand forms I have to fill out, and the seven syllabuses I have to read, memorize and sign as if I'm signing up for Chemistry (again). 

The Kid started school last Friday but this was the first day I drove him, so after my rattling off the above litany at 7am, we get in the car.

It's only then that I realize I can't remember the exact route to school and the boy's no help. He looks like he's in a coma in the passenger seat.

Seriously. I drove half way there before I remembered the way.

I have to pick him up at 2:45pm.  Let's cross our fingers I remember the way back.

Picture Perfect Saturdays

Last Days of Summer

The last days of summer are upon us, the Kid starts school on Friday and I can't believe how fast the summer flew by.  In an attempt to wrangle the last bit of fun out of our summer we decided to go to Six Flags.  There's one about an hour from our house.

We figured we'd eat carnival food and ride the throw-up rides. In essence, I could pretend I was 15 again. 

Little did I know how true that would be.

One of my favorite rides is Pandemonium.  It's a roller coasteresque ride combined with the spin of the Tea Cups but not so freaking scary I feel as if I might actually die, which coincidentally, is how I felt when we rode Bizarro. I literally had no breath to scream. None.

Anywho, the cars for Pandemonium seat four people, so the Kid and I are sharing with a father-daughter pair.  The girl looks like she's in her early 20's and the father is probably in his late 50's. 

We're making chit-chat before the ride starts...

Daughter: Have you ridden before? This is one of my favorite rides.

The Kid: Yeah, but I was a lot younger.

Me: He didn't like it the first time, he wanted to get off half way through.

Father: Wait a minute. You're his MOTHER?

Me: Um, yeah.

Father: Wow, (looking at the Kid) I just thought you had a really hot girlfriend.

The Kid (looking horrified): Ugh! No, that's my mom.

We all laugh because really what else can we do, we're strapped in a car and we can't get away.

As we're walking off the ride:

Me: We get that a lot.

Kid: I know.  But just to be sure don't walk too close to me or anything.

Me (laughing): So no kiss?

Kid: Ugh!

(For the record, I'm going to be 40 in 6 months.)

The Smell of Higher Education is in the Air

Up until last year I lived in a college town, now I just work in a college town, we have ten in the surrounding area.

Yes. Ten.

This is the time of year that the highway is jammed with parents driving the family roadster, packed to gills with everything the College-Bound kid could need or want.  Mom is almost certainly sniffling in the front seat, while dad is driving and almost sure to get lost.

I see it every year.

The Wal-Marts, Targets and TJ Maxxs in our area are near to exploding with coordinating sheets, towels, flip-flops and plastic dishes.  You could match the hair dryer to your kid's throw pillows if you wanted too. 

Note to moms: They don't need throw pillows.  They are just there to make you feel better. Your kid could care less.  Your kid is mostly obsessing about whether or not they'll get lost on campus and look like an idiot and....is the food any good.

A throw pillow will not help in either of these situations.

Let me tell you some of what I took away from when I went to college (and yes, I went to one of the ten in our area):

1) I can eat almost anything - cold.

2) I can also eat an entire meal standing at the kitchen counter.

3) Budget/budget/budget. In 1992 my roommate and I lived on $30/wk for groceries.

4) College food has an evolutionary scale (when you're not on a meal plan): Ramen noodles progress to breakfast cereal which leads to frozen raviolis.

5) I am a whiz with a Hot Pot.

6) Your roommates will still eat the Birthday Cake that your mother and grandmother accidentally dropped in the trunk of the car while trying to surprise you on your birthday. It may not be pretty but it's still cake.

7) You will laugh at the boys in the laundry room with the list of instructions from their mother on how to wash their clothes. You will most likely help them if they are cute. You will not fold their laundry. A girl has to have limits.

So, some 20-odd years later, college has come and gone but I still eat cold food standing at the counter; although I don't eat ramen noodles, breakfast cereal or frozen raviolis.  I learned to budget like a fiend and I found a man that does the laundry.

College was so worth it!

Random Kid Convo of the Week - 2

While we were out school shopping Sunday I was really showing my higher education...

Me: I could live comfortably for the rest of my life with $40 million.

Kid: $40? I could do $10 million.

Kid: Wait. Maybe $20. No, $25.  Definitely $25 million. I want to have a yacht.

Me: A yacht?

Kid: Yeah, but not a big one.

Me: You'd have to have someone 'yacht-it' for you or what fun would that be.

Kid: 'Yacht-it?' That's using your words....*laugh*

Me: I meant drive-it. Shut up.

Kid: Bahahahahaa.

Random Kid Convo of the Week

It's been awhile.  The Kid's been at camp for the last two weeks.

Today...

My phone rings and I see it's the Ex

Me: Hey.

Kid: Hi mom.

Me: How was camp?

Kid: Good. Um, I didn't call this week because I broke my phone.

Me: *ahem* How broken?

Kid: Well, the screen is cracked.

Me: How did you manage to do that?

Kid: I think I rolled over on it while I was sleeping.

Sigh.

People of Disney

By all means, please dress alike.

It wouldn't hurt to carry matching bags too.

 And matching fanny packs.

 The humidity can be a bitch to overcome as far as your hair goes; so do your best with what you've got.

Matching is optional.  You are on vacation after all.

Comfortable shoes are a must.

Jack Sparrow anyone?

 You should take breaks if you're tired; preferably in the middle of the hallways.

Clothing is optional.
(The Kid has this exact pair of boxers. That's how I know they're NOT shorts.)

There's no excuse for this.

Ahem, or this.

And, I'm pretty sure they all went home in something like this:

It's good to be home.

All pictures were taken courtesy of the Chica, who has an apparent future as a paparazza.