Real Estate terms.
Yup, house hunting has begun and I'm already reaalllyyyy disenchanted with the scene.
Let's start with...
Gleaming, as in gleaming hardwood floors. I've seen this in literally every.single.effing.listing, from cheapest fixer-uppers to the ridiculously huge. Honestly, my dog would love it if there was some carpet in the new place, he hates the hardwood floors in our current house, so much so, that it makes his fur fall out. No, I am not joking. I refer to myself as She Who Must Vacuum All the Time as a result of his floor affliction.
Sprawling. When I think of sprawling, I think of the mountain scene in the Sound of Music where Julie Andrews is spinning in a circle. A 14' x 12' space is not sprawling, it's the size a shed. I'm almost certain that the pictures of some of these places where taken with a zoom lens, through an open window whilst standing on the front lawn, in an effort to make them look larger.
Priced to Sell, um yeah. That just makes me nervous. If you don't think it's worth it, why am I ever going to think it's worth it? Just tell me what it costs and let's get down to business. I don't haggle well.
Charming. Translation, decorated circa 1982 using way too many DIY programming suggestions.
So, tomorrow I'm visiting the first house on my list and ironically the description reads...
This charming must-see property is priced to sell, well below market value. It includes gleaming hardwoods throughout, a sprawling floor plan with a flat yard...
Yeah. I know, I was grinding my teeth too.
The first words out of my dad's mouth were, 'What's wrong with it? It should cost more.'
My thoughts exactly.
I'll bet there's a chalk outline of a body in the basement.