Could we put the Real back in Real Estate?

You've all seen the inevitable post about words bloggers don't like, 'moist' seems to be very popular.  I must admit I'm not a fan of that one either, but I have a different set of words I'm beginning to hate.

Real Estate terms.

Yup, house hunting has begun and I'm already reaalllyyyy disenchanted with the scene.

Let's start with...

Gleaming, as in gleaming hardwood floors.  I've seen this in literally every.single.effing.listing, from cheapest fixer-uppers to the ridiculously huge. Honestly, my dog would love it if there was some carpet in the new place, he hates the hardwood floors in our current house, so much so, that it makes his fur fall out.  No, I am not joking.  I refer to myself as She Who Must Vacuum All the Time as a result of his floor affliction.

Sprawling. When I think of sprawling, I think of the mountain scene in the Sound of Music where Julie Andrews is spinning in a circle.  A 14' x 12' space is not sprawling, it's the size a shed.  I'm almost certain that the pictures of some of these places where taken with a zoom lens, through an open window whilst standing on the front lawn, in an effort to make them look larger.

Priced to Sell, um yeah. That just makes me nervous.  If you don't think it's worth it, why am I ever going to think it's worth it?  Just tell me what it costs and let's get down to business.  I don't haggle well.

Charming. Translation, decorated circa 1982 using way too many DIY programming suggestions.

So, tomorrow I'm visiting the first house on my list and ironically the description reads...

This charming must-see property is priced to sell, well below market value. It includes gleaming hardwoods throughout, a sprawling floor plan with a flat yard...

Yeah. I know, I was grinding my teeth too.

The first words out of my dad's mouth were, 'What's wrong with it? It should cost more.'

My thoughts exactly.

I'll bet there's a chalk outline of a body in the basement.

I Smell a Rat or There's an App for That

The Littlest Kid and I are playing Words with Friends, I'm fairly good at this game but let's look at the progress of our first game. The BLUE words are his, the BLACK are mine.

It started with HYPHAE,

followed by KIDDIES,

OTIOUSELY,

SHAWN,

JOHNBOAT,

FLOUNCE,

ZEIN,

TELERANS,

PELITE,

AWE,

SMOGS,

DOGE,

CABOB,

TINEID,

VARVE,

QI

Currently our score is 421 him, 245 moi. And we're only half finished.

Someone is chhhhhheeeaaatttiiinnnnggggg. Although if he's not he's got a lot of explaining to do.

When are signups for the National Spelling Bee?

Back to Normal

Everyone loves gossip, at least the spike in my readership over the past few days says so, but sadly 'Those Who Will Never Be Spoken of Again' just aren't worth another post.

So since my previous post was a break from my usual funny I'll try to catch everyone up on what's been going on.  I'm sure there are people, and you know who you are, that would love for me to take down the previous post bbuuuttttt I'm not gonna.  The best I can do is not link to it here but that's really all of my good will you're going to get.

Operation Million Dollar Smile is back on track and thankfully progressing without incident.  We've moved on to calling it Operation Delta.  The wire connecting the dots in The Kid's mouth looks a triangle.  I'll try and snap a pic over the weekend. (He hates posing like a trained pony but he loves me, so pic to be posted.)

I had a job interview this week so everyone cross their fingers.  It went well and I feel confident I've made it to the second round.  Honestly this job search thing is like being a contestant on the Price Is Right. I just dated myself didn't I?

Anywho,

This past weekend I embraced my inner Jew and made a brisket for the first time in the new Le Creuset pot my parents gave me.  Oh My Gawd, it was so good I want to convert. I don't know why I never tried to make one sooner.

Me to the Kid: Did you see my new pot? My brisket making pot?

Kid (full of sarcasm): Yes, I see your pot. Don't you remember I carried it around the mall with Grampy?  Do you have any idea how much that thing weighs?

Me: Now that you mention it, I vaguely recall talk of your carrying my pot.

Kid: Yeah, well, it's heavy. And right now it's empty.

Me: Are you saying you want me to cook more brisket?

Kid: Yes. Yes, I am.

Things are totally back to normal.